The little indicator alert was red. She clicked it. Her eyebrows rose when she read the name of the person who had sent her the friend request. She knew him, but it had been a long time.
She was curious to see what he looked liked after all these years, but the picture of him was too small, so she clicked it, which took her to his profile page. There were lots of pictures. She browsed. There were pictures of him, his kids, his home, his vacation, etc. There was even an old picture of him standing by a car. She knew that car. It brought back all sorts of memories.
He was her first real boyfriend—an old flame.
She couldn’t help but wonder what her life would have been like if they had stayed together. Would they have gotten married? What would their children have looked like? What kind of house would they be living in? Her heart was beating a little faster.
The love she had for her husband was bright and burning like the sun, but all the sudden there was a little star visible in her sky. Before this friend request, she had no idea where this man lived, nor how to find him if she wanted to. Now, he was as close as the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling above her sons’ beds.
Facebook gave her two options: “Confirm” or, “Ignore.” She paused. “Maybe he’s just saying hello,” she thought. “Chances are, it’s no big deal.” But the more she thought about it, she knew what she needed to do—she made a choice regarding him, and her past, as well as his request—the old flame was quietly ignored.
Paul said,
“I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him.” (Phil. 3:8)
This verse is about material things, but it also about memories, experiences, achievements, and the people associated with them. They are to be seen as “loss,” which in Greek carries with it the idea of “damage,” and “rubbish,” which is often interpreted as “dung.”
We cannot totally forget what we did in the past, nor the people involved, but we are not to allow our memories to define, condemn, or entice us anymore. Jesus said,
“Anyone who wants to work with me and keeps thinking about the past isn’t what I’m looking for.” (Luke 9:62)
This may seem harsh, but Jesus knew our memories could be so subtle and so seductive, that we would begin to relive them, wishing for places, things, and people from another chapter of our lives, and outside of him. Paul cuts to the heart of issue by saying,
“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.” (Gal. 2:20)
The devil is really good at sending old friends and old flames to cross your path to stir up all sorts of old memories. But when it happens, there’s an “Ignore” button you can hit…remember that the person they’re looking for is dead.
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