We called her “Rocky”
My mom passed away Monday. I’ve been thinking about her life’s accomplishments and how to contextualize some of them. She was an incredible leader. She was a renowned speaker and author. She was musically gifted. She could manage and administrate at the highest levels. She had a love for adventure and traveled the world.
She also broke down many of the barriers that had kept women excluded from leadership roles within the church. She saw those barriers as an especially odd reality in her own church organization, which was founded by a woman.
My kids affectionately called her Rocky. Mom loved this nickname because it identified a tenacity in her that characterized so much of what she did.
Her last journal entry
Not long after my dad’s death in 2013, we noticed that something wasn’t right with mom. She was diagnosed with dementia. This began a difficult process of watching “Rocky” go from an incredibly capable person, to needing assistance at basic levels.
While cleaning out her room, we found a journal she had begun after losing dad. Page after page records simple routines and outings. She also shares the deep pain of missing her husband of 57 years. On September 21, 2013 mom wrote…
Each day seems empty without Coleman. Lord, please hold my hand on this strange journey. I have always known what do for You, now I’m not sure.
Every entry, until her last on May 31, 2015, echoes this same frustration of missing her husband and not knowing what she was to do. While I lamented the toll dementia took on my mom, the Lord helped me see something.
Even though my mom had been very independent, she was always under the covering of my dad’s authority. There are many beautiful stories of women who went on to new levels of living after their husbands die. Not Rocky. When her husband died, she lost her strength. Peter puts it this way…
This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. (1 Peter 3:5, NLT)
This isn’t just the secret to beauty, but also strength. I hope the next generations of “Rocky’s” help other woman understand this. It will make them more beautiful and stronger in all their life’s accomplishments.
Wow … what an amazing lady she was . My heart aches for you & her loss but so happy she is now in Heaven with her husband & our Heavenly Father … blessed to have been able to sit with her in church & hear her praise your preaching .?❤️
Love you Pastor Joel! I am so sad that Mary is no longer with us. She was a wonderful woman and will be missed! Sending you lots of prayers for comfort that only the Lord can give ❤️
She blessed us all with her presence she never stopped talking about Coleman and never stopped praying for us all. She will be missed as she rejoices with Jesus and those who went before. Thank you for sharing.
This is so moving Joel. Just looking at her picture touches me so deeply. She was a hard act to follow when we went to Billings, but I did my very best! She was a teacher – so I also taught for 36 years – (because that is what Pastors’ wives do). She was a musician – so I played for the church (for 17 years). She went back to school and got her Masters…I went and finally got my bachelors. See the pattern? I was never as affective or talented as she was – but I did my best and that was all I needed to do. She was my mentor and my friend. I loved her so much.
Ginger, both mom and dad commented often how proud they were of what you and Stan have accomplished. In fact, I’m sure mom would be the first to say that you took what she gave you and ran even further! Thanks for sharing! Love, Joel
Blessings of knowing Mary as my friend, my teacher, my counselor & my Advocate to go to court with me & understanding me when I was trying to share my feelings. To know Mary&Coleman was watching the HolySpirit’s touching Hearts & family&friends PTLTYGBUDLUVU
You Mom was such an example to me, and a good friend. I could go to her about anything and she always listened and had such wisdom! She loved her God and her family! She was a huge influence in my life. I will cherish our memories forever!
Beautifully written. Such a beautiful soul. My life and so many, many more have been richly blessed from having known Mary. Thank you Joel for sharing your precious memories. Lord bless you and your family during this time and every day after that.
??BJ
Thank you BJ!
Thank you for sharing this Joel. I’m thinking if more men were like your dad, more women could be like your mom. Praying for your family♡
That is a beautiful thought Monique! Thank you!!!
Amen! Good advice for those considering marriage, before they commit.
oh the tears flood as i read this… Mary’s heart is so beautiful. ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss, Joel. Such a nice tribute.
Thanks Jodi! I still remember your kindness when my dad passed away 🙂